Thursday, 31 December 2009
Losing weight
Feeling so much better & goals
Yeah! I am feeling heaps better today, which is good as we have visitors arriving this afternoon. My neck is still causing me grief but it doesn't bother me as much today.
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
Feeling sorry for myself
OMG - here I was thinking that I am a positive person most of the time and was just dropping in to say how sorry I was feeling for myself and then I saw that yesterday was a complaint too.
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
Blogging
Friday, 11 December 2009
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
I feel strange.......
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
Well done - positive reinforcement
I’ve been reading a few blogs recently and quite a people out there are trying to do the ‘Intuitive Eating’ thing.
I found this ‘idea’ a few years ago and have been trying to live by it. I say ‘trying’ as it is not easy to do. If it was easy, then all of us with eating issues would read a book or a blog and just do it. Oh I wish!
I am also a big believer in being kind to yourself, looking for the positive in everything you do or that happens to you, even if it is just the lesson learned. Again, this is not always easy; in fact it’s downright hard, especially when it is preceded by many years of not being kind to yourself.
I have just read the phrase ‘positive reinforcement’. I don’t even know what the context of this phrase was but that’s not the point here, the point here is that as a mother of 3 children aged 10, 6 and 4 and the owner of a pretty full on puppy, positive reinforcement has been a big feature in my life for the past 10 years.
So, it got me thinking. Every day I praise the good behaviour in my children, especially when there is very little good behaviour, because I believe they will learn to get the reaction from me that they want. They will continue with the good behaviour and try and refrain from the bad.
Yesterday, walking the dog, she was a nightmare, I mean, my arm hurt from her pulling, my hands were red raw from holding the lead so tightly and I seemed to be using my ‘firm’ voice a lot.
This morning reading the ‘positive reinforcement’ phrase made me think about a walk a few days ago where she behaved really well. I didn’t wait until some time later to acknowledge her good behaviour, I didn’t say good girl – just the once. The whole walk (well except where it was dangerous to) I maintained eye contact with her and repeated the whole walk, ‘good girl, good girl, good girl. She knew I was happy with her. She didn’t need a ‘treat’. She needed, I believe the positive reinforcement. Still the next walk was not good, but I will continue and she will learn.
The point – what difference would it make if every time, we did something good, we praised ourselves, every little thing and at the time, not later in a journal but at the time. I understand looking in a mirror and repeating good girl over and over may not always be practical but a little acknowledgement in your mind I think could be helpful.
This isn’t just about the food; it’s about the self esteem. For example, if you handled a situation well, or in some cases, even just handled it because you have been putting it off for so long because it was outside of your comfort zone, acknowledge that, give yourself praise, ignore the bad, the something you could have said or done better, as you would with a 4 year old. I wouldn’t focus with my daughter on the one little thing that she could have done better, I would focus on the 15 great things she did.
And now I have got to the end of writing this, I realize that this technique is something psychologists have been trying to teach us for years.
Sunday, 6 December 2009
The stolen Christmas
I really feel this year like Christmas has been stolen from me by my children.
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
Friends to visit
Exciting times
Monday, 2 November 2009
Parenting
Why is it....
Saturday, 31 October 2009
Off camping
"Off camping" could be interpreted 2 ways
Friday, 30 October 2009
Long time......
It's been a while, but today I want to say I am in a really good place.
Friday, 18 September 2009
Where am I?
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
Birthdays and training
Monday, 3 August 2009
Implants
Saturday, 1 August 2009
Go the Warriors
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Fancy dress
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
Photographs
When we are on a weight loss/figure changing journey we are told to take photographs because they are a good indication of our changing shape, especially if the scale is not moving as we would like.
However, what happens when, the scale is moving in quite a steep downwards slope, your confidence is sky high, you even stop disliking what you see in the mirror? You are feeling fitter and stronger, your skin is clearer, your clothes are looser and you are getting compliments, but then you see a photograph of yourself and realize that you are nowhere near as far along in the journey as you would like to be or think that you are.
You ignore it and concentrate on the feelings. As with the scale it is only one tool in the box.
Monday, 27 July 2009
Force feeding
Thankfully my first early get up after a weeks holiday wasn’t too rude an awakening for me. I managed to get up and out on time with no problems, I even remembered to reload the car with equipment last night.
We had a visit to playgroup this morning, I don’t normally go on the first day back as CJ is well and truly over playgroup and schools don’t go back until tomorrow, but as Miss T has only been away from playgroup for 2 terms, I thought it would be nice for her to go back and see some of her old friends. The girls had a great time, and why…..because two of the children were celebrating birthdays this week so the lollies and cakes were more than plentiful.
I was aware of this so I had my little snack of a hard boiled egg before I went. I still find it extremely annoying when other mums try and force feed you sweet stuff (me not the kids) even though I have told them many times that I don’t want that food. I had to decline the stuff more than half a dozen times today. If I wasn’t feeling so motivated I would definitely have caved in. All that caved in this time was her head as I hit it with a blunt instrument – oh no that was all in my mind.
Saturday, 25 July 2009
Bondi to Coogee Coastal Walk
We had such a good day yesterday. Jon had the day off work, the intention was that just the two of us would have a day together, he hadn’t realized that it was the school holidays. Never mind, we had a nice family day out.
First Jon dropped his car at the garage for a service and then we packed a lunch and set off to Bondi. I wanted to do the Bondi to Coogee walk.
When we set off it was so cold, a beautiful day but oh so cold. We soon warmed up as we walked.
We wrote messages in the sand, we watched the surfers, some doing better than others, we ate lunch, watched the Iceberg swimmers, dodged the runners.
Miss C spectacularly fell over in the mud and ended up very cold and covered in mud – she looked so cute when we set off.
The kids rock climbed, I was a nervous mother watching, Miss C climbed very well and then freaked when she turned around and saw how high she was.
We kept on walking and got to the
By this stage of the walk the kids were starting to whinge about tired legs so we decided to turn around and walk back.
Jon decided he wanted to head to Bondi Junction to get a donut, obviously the kids loved this idea so off we went.
We couldn’t immediately find a donut shop so the kids had a Golden Arches ice cream instead.
Back in the car, stressful journey home, but made it to the shop to get CJ the new Harry Potter game for the PS2, picked up Jon’s car. Cost less than $500 – bonus and home for dinner.
I even abstained from the takeaway Indian (not that the scales reflected that with a 300g gain this morning, but never mind).
The evening ended perfectly with me falling asleep in front of a movie – not like me at all.
Thursday, 23 July 2009
Work ethic
I overheard Miss T in the back of the car discussing possible careers with her brother this morning. (It's obviously weighing very heavily on her 5 year old mind at the moment.)
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
Career
Miss T today informed me that she would like to be a police lady when she get older. I found this interesting and asked her why, and what she thought a police lady did. Obviously bored with the conversation at this stage said (one of her favourite lines at the moment) "I don't know!"
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Movies
Fancy dress
Monday, 20 July 2009
Catching up
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
Walking
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
My back hurts
Saturday, 11 July 2009
Put our children first
We had some dramas yesterday with my youngest daughter (4 years old).
I dropped her at her preschool, yesterday was her last day as for the last few weeks I hadn't been happy with the way the preschool was running, they had made staff changes and when I raised my concerns, I was ignored. A place came up from next term at another preschool so she is going to start there.
When we got there yesterday there was a note on the sign in register to say that the usual staff were sick and instead, the owner had brought in her son!!!
I had an appointment and I didn’t know what to do, I left her there but was not comfortable with it. When I got back to the car, I burst into tears. I had left my little girl with 2 people that I had absolutely no confidence in. Why because I had an appointment? I felt like the worst mother.
I called Jon and talked to him, we agreed that I would go right back in and pull her out. So I did. I don't like confrontation so I was going to make up some story about a family emergency and needed to go. But no, firstly I didn't want to tempt fate, secondly, I was so furious that someone had such a lack of respect for our children and that she was more interested in money than safety and thirdly she had made me feel like a bad mother.
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
The mayonnaise jar
When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else --The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.
So...
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'
Monday, 29 June 2009
Tired
Friday, 26 June 2009
Walkers
Thursday, 18 June 2009
Dairy free diet
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
Responsibility
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
Another win!
Monday, 15 June 2009
Confused
I am so confused. Since mentioning I visited a Naturopath who recommended a dairy and gluten free diet, I have had so many people both here in "blogland" and in "real life" including professionals and those that just think they are and those that are just providing their experiences, pretty much disagreeing with the Naturopath.
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Growing up
Friday, 12 June 2009
Naturopath - the details
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Naturopath
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Long weekends
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
Day 4
Sunday, 31 May 2009
Giving up
Saturday, 30 May 2009
I know - it's been forever....
Sunday, 3 May 2009
Sunday, 19 April 2009
Feeling much better
Friday, 17 April 2009
Croup
Thursday, 16 April 2009
Abdominal ultrasound
I have just been to the physio again, this time to look at a long term back issue. This issue started when I was 18 and had a car accident and dislocated my pelvis.
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Cruel trick
Junk mail
Monday, 13 April 2009
Do you believe, all things happen for a reason?
Saturday, 11 April 2009
Shoulder news
Friday, 10 April 2009
We won one.....
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Growing up and determination
Well that's it. You know your kids are growing up when the last training wheels (stabilizers to all of us from England) come off the bikes. My youngest learned to ride her bike last weekend. We do have legs that are black and blue from the experience but they will heal.
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
Missing you
Monday, 30 March 2009
la la la
Saturday, 28 March 2009
Panic over - for now!
Warning - disordered mind spill
0.4kg gain this week. I honestly do think I am doing everything right, training and eating, however, I am tempted to log food, but not count calories, but from an eating disorder point of view, I need to not make food my focus, I just need to eat healthy meals and not snack. I have to remember that while I want to lose weight, my number 1 priority right now is not to binge or overeat. My number 2 priority is to exercise regularly, so I guess weight loss is only 3rd, I need to remember this. That said, based on the science, to gain half a kg I needed to have consumed 3500 cals more than I needed. Given that I am burning c2000 cals a week more than in recent months, I must have consumed 5500 more cals than I needed - 785 extra a day. That is impossible. So what does this mean? - It's nearly lunch time, I am hungry, I walked to the kitchen and realised, I don't know what to eat and that I am quite scared to eat in case I gain more weight. I'm crying now, I don't know what to do. I feel really silly this shouldn't be a big deal.
Sunday, 22 March 2009
Confession
Monday, 16 March 2009
Birthday parties
Saturday, 14 March 2009
Thursday, 12 March 2009
Busy Busy
Monday, 9 March 2009
Taxi service
Thursday, 26 February 2009
George Foreman Grill
I don't think it is cooking properly when the light is not on. I can't quickly find my instruction book. How annoying!
On the up
Given that so many people have been affected, a friend and I are convinced that there is something out there in the Universe.
Today I enjoyed? a trip to the physio. I say enjoyed because last week I saw a new physio (not feeling I was progressing as much as I would like in the shoulder region) and at this stage, I love her.
She feels it is not a shoulder issue, well not anymore, and that it is a nerve issue in my neck, but get this, she thinks she can fix it, not just maintain it, or give me about 80% function, she is going to fix it. She also said today that as I have been suffering with it for so long, she sees it as a challenge to get me better.
Hooray! Someone who wants to help me and not just their own pocket. Bit harsh I know, and my last physio helped me a lot, but I was not happy with 80%. I am too young to settle for that.
After physio I had lunch with a girlfriend and then a little shopping, nothing very nice just bits and pieces and I also faced the dreaded M3dicare. Only 20 minutes to wait and now my pocket has a little more cash.
Can anyone help - my mortgage has reduced but I don't have anymore money, where has it gone?
Collected kids from school, dropped one off at dancing, back home for a cup of tea and some blogging and then back to pick up from dancing.
Jon is away so I think a nice early night is called for. With Jon away, I had to cancel my early morning client tomorrow so I can lie in a bit beyond 4.30am.
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Dance class
And.... she got promoted to the next level in swimming classes today.
I am very proud of her.
The Blender Incident
You may have gotten the idea now, that my dad is a, I was going to say joker, but 'clown' is a probably more appropriate word. The kind of person that if you didn't love would most likely drive you crazy, an ok in small doses, kind of person. But I love him dearly and so of course find him hilarious. I also have this sense of humour in relation to my dad, that if he gets hurt (mildly) or something goes wrong, I collapse in hysterics. This is a hysteric moment.
The day before June and I went shopping for Malibu, pineapple juice, ice and coconut cream so we could make pina coladas. They were beautiful and really complimented the bottle of wine we had already had. My blender is a throw back from years gone by when Jon and I were childless and had cocktail parties. It now gets used for soup - how times have changed!
Dad watched us for a while and asked why my blender lid had a hole in it. "I don't know, it just does." "Does the liquid not come out of the top?" - "No."
I don't know if you remember but June has a broken ankle and can only get around on crutches, or in a wheel chair for longer periods. So - today dad was making the pina colada.
In went the Malibu - a very generous amount I might add - the ice, coconut cream and the pineapple juice. On went the blender, and the expletives started. My kitchen and my dad were covered in pina colada. Lovely to drink, not so good to clean up. Dad thought he had put too much in the blender, so now that there was not so much, he tried again. Even more expletives. By this time, I was laughing so much I could barely walk, but I managed to make it to the kitchen - I was also thinking that maybe the liquid could come out of the hole in the lid.
Then I saw that the lid was not on - he had turned on the blender to level 4, with no lid on. Not once, but twice.
He was cursing and cleaning, complaining that the fish (who lives on the kitchen bench) was drunk. Complaining that all would be ok if my blender didn't have a reverse on it, because when he went to turn it off in a hurry, it didn't stop at 0, but went into reverse so he slid the button back up and off it went to level 4 again.
He later admitted that the little voice in his head was saying, "put the lid on, put the lid on" but his "rational?" mind was saying, it would be ok. And this was the first time. How he managed to do it twice, I have no idea.
There was not much pina colada that night.
Further, Jon who was working the next day and not partaking in any amounts of alcohol that night, was not impressed. The kitchen was so sticky for days. Dad cleaned and cleaned and cleaned.
It didn't put us off, once the supplies were replenished dad tried again, just to prove he could drive a blender.
Monday, 2 February 2009
Coffs Harbour
Needless to say we didn't set off to Coffs Harbour at 5am the next morning. By the time we had got up and packed the car (which was supposed to have been done the night before) it was about 10am when we left. I think my dad was quite relieved, I appreciate a long drive after a mammoth flight was not the best course of action.
We took 2 cars, Dad and June followed in Jon's car and the kids and Jon's mam came with us.
It wasn't long before the kids started defecting to Pop's and June's car. Even though my son had not seen his pops since he was 2 and the girls had never met him, they soon became very firm friends. It was very pleasing to see and I think my dad loved every minute of it. In fact I am sure he did.
Coffs was a pretty lazy holiday, lots of beach swimming and body boarding.
Miss T loves body boarding, she looks like a proper surf chick now.
We of course visited the Big Banana, we did the toboggan and we all did a trike ride, even Jon's mam did it and enjoyed it.
It goes without saying there was lots of drinking and catching up and getting to know June and my dad all over again. Dad hasn't changed one bit.
We took the kids fishing but I really didn't enjoy that, I was too nervous about them falling off the jetty. Pretty soon after we headed to a local eatery for lunch.
Lunch was a disaster, first Jon broke my RayBan's, his track record for looking after sunglasses is not good so I am not sure why I let him borrow them (must be love). He was not happy at all. Then lunch took ages to arrive, my dad has diabetes so was getting a bit agitated that his food was taking so long.
The meal was ok, not great but ok. Then, the bill., it should have been less than $100, but the bill total was $270. The staff had given another table our bill and then tried to charge us for theirs. The other table did not correct the error, that was left to us. Phone calls needed to be made to managers, blah blah blah. In the end they gave us 10% off for the inconvenience.
Other than that, some nice meals were consumed and much wine- did I already mention the wine.
It was also very nice to have other adults knees for the kids to sit on during dinner.
Saturday, 31 January 2009
Pick up from the airport
We have an MPV so have seven seats but with luggage and a wheelchair for June with her broken ankle there wasn't enough room to take the kids with us - they were staying here with Jon's mam.
At dinner time though, Jon's mam was not feeling so good and took herself off to her room. I went into panic mode, what were we going to do? We would have to take the kids with us, but to do that we would need to take two cars. Never mind - that's not what I was really thinking but for the purposes of this blog, that will do.
Applying a bit of lippy before we leave and I turn to walk out of the bathroom as Jon walks in - for some reason we were both quieter than stealth bombers and neither knew the other was there. A collision occurred and my right big toe nail just happened to be lifted off the nail bed, by Jon's massive trainers.
The pain was more than I could ever have imagined, I screamed and immediately had 6 little eyes peering at my now upright toenail. Miss T the middle child decided that now would be a good time for a very graphic description - I told her, very politely I might add, to go away.
My brain was already working overtime about how was I going to get to the airport - not going was not an option.
Some may think I was being a drama queen, some will be sharing the pain with me - but my pain threshold is very very low and it hurt - A LOT.
Jon was very brave and faced the music he did not run at all - he did however mention later that he moved a pair of scissors that were close by. I think he had visions of scissors in his eyes!
I just screamed for Panadol. 20 minutes later Jon's mam got up and asked what was going on, we had, well me really, had woken her. Through bitter clenched teeth, I apologised. I'm not sure if I was sincere, sarcastic or delirious but I said sorry. Far too British it think - must work on that.
40 minutes needed more Panadol - it hadn't touched the pain at all.
Needed to pick up Dad and June - I couldn't get on any shoes at all - nor could I walk. Jon's mam suggested I wait here - red rag to bull. I was going and I think she saw that in my eyes, so kept quiet after that.
I decided to go and just wait in the car. The thought of waiting in the car and Jon seeing my dad before me nearly killed me but it was the only option.
At this point, I should mention I hate speed bumps. It hurts a lot when you go over them.
Got to the airport - not liking Jon very much at this moment but also seeing the funny side now and again - maybe the pills were working, not on the pain but on my mind.
Jon headed off to get them and I settled down, as much as I could with pain like someone had ripped off my toe nail. oh they had!!!
5 minutes later Jon appears back at the car with a WHEELCHAIR. I couldn't do it - what would it look like, my new stepmum in a wheelchair with a broken ankle and me - in a wheelchair. Was I taking the pxxx? How to make a good impression.
Jon convinced me to do it. I did it. I met my dad and June - both of us in a wheelchair. We all saw the funny side - and then my pain killers wore off.
We were travelling up to Coffs Harbour for a beach and pool holiday the next morning at 5am - so I decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help me.
Long story - I got seen at 3am - they made me feel very guilty for wasting their time but they fixed it. It hurt a lot but was hugely improved the next day.
More later.....