Thursday, 31 December 2009

Losing weight

How interesting is that?

Nowhere in that long list of goals is losing weight. I was sweeping the floor when I realised that. With three children a shiny clean house doesn't last long.

However, even in a list of 'off the top of my head' goals, losing weight wasn't there and it's not that I couldn't stand to lose a kilo or two, I am 100% sure I could but, do I need to? Will that make me happy? Has my unconscious mind finally learnt that losing weight is not a goal but a result of achieving some of the other goals? Maybe it has.

Feeling so much better & goals

Yeah! I am feeling heaps better today, which is good as we have visitors arriving this afternoon. My neck is still causing me grief but it doesn't bother me as much today.

I haven't yet decided what to do about tonight's party. I have been considering for some time being the designated driver. That way I will still feel good tomorrow. But, I love a good party and I will be honest, I like having a drink at parties.

I've been thinking about what my goals are for the coming year. There are so many things I would like to achieve, such as

having a regular training program
eating a healthy diet
take my supplements
not bingeing
cooking healthy meals for my family every day and at every meal time
increasing my number of clients
taking on trainers to work with me
taking the kids on an overseas holiday
visiting my family in England
putting a pool in the backyard
mediating regularly
drinking more water
having a bit more 'me' time
becoming a more positive person
accepting me for who I am now
living my life now - not later
living in the moment
learning to trust myself
learning to trust others
keep my house tidy
keep my house clean
keep on top of household filing

I think I need to stop there.

There are so many goals and I haven't reviewed them yet but I am pretty sure that by achieving just a few of them, I will either achieve them all or many will become irrelevant.

I don't need to decide on my goals today in preparation for tomorrow - The New Year - I have 12 months to achieve them - but nor will I procrastinate. I will pick two or three and focus on them for a period of time, once they become a habit, I will add more goals.

One think I need to continue to work on is my all or nothing attitude, this has held me back on my goals for so many years. I am improving and I will continue to do so.

OK - I have decided that to start with I am going to take my supplements daily and I am going to drink (at least) one glass of water with every meal.

I really dislike the physical aspect of taking supplements so I will get a small container that I can keep with me and take them throughout the day. If I take more than 2 at a time I feel physically sick. In the past I have decided to spread them out through the day but usually forget. This way, I can have them with me and take them with that glass of water, wherever I am.

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Feeling sorry for myself

OMG - here I was thinking that I am a positive person most of the time and was just dropping in to say how sorry I was feeling for myself and then I saw that yesterday was a complaint too.

I think I need to have a close look at myself.

Anyway, I feel yuck, I have been feeling yuck since the 27th, in fact I missed a party on the 27th because I felt yuck. On a positive note I could have gone, but didn't want to eat or drink or have to constantly explain myself so I chose not to go.

At first I thought I had a food and alcohol hangover even though I didn't think I had had that much, but now I don't think it can be. I have a nauseous feeling, sore throat, drippy nose and any inclination to do anything has definitely left the building. To make it worse I have woke up with a restriction in my neck, not too much and normally it wouldn't bother me too much - but today it does.

Whinge whinge whinge I am boring myself.

On a positive note, the cleaning fairies visited my house yesterday (they were v expensive, but worth it) my house is sparkling. One exception though, that I have to deal with, my stainless steel cooker and the ignition knobs are now a dirty gold/bronze colour. I hope it is not totally ruined but something the cleaners used did not agree with my cooker. And, the little markers that tell me which hob is which have been removed.

But the rest of my house is clean - and all at the same time.

Today I am drinking lots of water and trying to figure out what I need more, training or sleep.

Tuesday, 29 December 2009


Quick complaint - blogger is driving me crazy. I really dislike (would say hate but don't like that word) the formatting.

As I spend so much time hanging around waiting for children to finish various activities, I decided to get an Eee pc and use that time constructively by working and writing.

I didn't think I needed to be online, I would draft documents in Word and then copy them into the appropriate format - but blogger doesn't like that.

I have looked at wordpress and different problems occur mostly related to me being new at it.

Which do you prefer and any quick and easy tips?

Friday, 11 December 2009

Basically - ME!

This is what happened when I entered my blog address in Wordle. Very interesting.

Love this Katie. Thank you.

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

I feel strange.......

I have a funny feeling in my tummy.

It's a Wednesday morning and the day didn't get off to a very good start. This morning was the first time I have ever missed a client session and it was because I slept in. I could say my alarm didn't go off but I take full responsibility for not setting it correctly. I woke up at 6am exactly which is the time I start my session 30 minutes from home. My clock said 6 PM and the alarm was set for 4.41 AM. Hence it didn't work.

I phoned my client and apologised profusely and told her the next session is on me. (Part of our contract)

Then, Jon has taken the day off work to take our youngest daughter out for a special 'Dad and Daughter' day before she starts school next year. She thinks she is going out for a milkshake but dad is taking her on the train and ferry to Taronga Zoo. She has been there before but she was too young to appreciate it. She will love it and I think he will too.

The funny feeling - I miss her, I know she is a preschool for 2 days every week but not on a Wednesday and I feel strange, I feel like something is missing. I am now thinking about how I will feel next year when I drop all 3 of them at school. The school will have the majority of my family.

So today, I have a Wednesday to fill, it is not my usual routine, I have heaps to do but it feels different!

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Well done - positive reinforcement

I’ve been reading a few blogs recently and quite a people out there are trying to do the ‘Intuitive Eating’ thing.

I found this ‘idea’ a few years ago and have been trying to live by it. I say ‘trying’ as it is not easy to do. If it was easy, then all of us with eating issues would read a book or a blog and just do it. Oh I wish!

I am also a big believer in being kind to yourself, looking for the positive in everything you do or that happens to you, even if it is just the lesson learned. Again, this is not always easy; in fact it’s downright hard, especially when it is preceded by many years of not being kind to yourself.

I have just read the phrase ‘positive reinforcement’. I don’t even know what the context of this phrase was but that’s not the point here, the point here is that as a mother of 3 children aged 10, 6 and 4 and the owner of a pretty full on puppy, positive reinforcement has been a big feature in my life for the past 10 years.

So, it got me thinking. Every day I praise the good behaviour in my children, especially when there is very little good behaviour, because I believe they will learn to get the reaction from me that they want. They will continue with the good behaviour and try and refrain from the bad.

Yesterday, walking the dog, she was a nightmare, I mean, my arm hurt from her pulling, my hands were red raw from holding the lead so tightly and I seemed to be using my ‘firm’ voice a lot.

This morning reading the ‘positive reinforcement’ phrase made me think about a walk a few days ago where she behaved really well. I didn’t wait until some time later to acknowledge her good behaviour, I didn’t say good girl – just the once. The whole walk (well except where it was dangerous to) I maintained eye contact with her and repeated the whole walk, ‘good girl, good girl, good girl. She knew I was happy with her. She didn’t need a ‘treat’. She needed, I believe the positive reinforcement. Still the next walk was not good, but I will continue and she will learn.

The point – what difference would it make if every time, we did something good, we praised ourselves, every little thing and at the time, not later in a journal but at the time. I understand looking in a mirror and repeating good girl over and over may not always be practical but a little acknowledgement in your mind I think could be helpful.

This isn’t just about the food; it’s about the self esteem. For example, if you handled a situation well, or in some cases, even just handled it because you have been putting it off for so long because it was outside of your comfort zone, acknowledge that, give yourself praise, ignore the bad, the something you could have said or done better, as you would with a 4 year old. I wouldn’t focus with my daughter on the one little thing that she could have done better, I would focus on the 15 great things she did.

And now I have got to the end of writing this, I realize that this technique is something psychologists have been trying to teach us for years.

Sunday, 6 December 2009

The stolen Christmas

I really feel this year like Christmas has been stolen from me by my children.

I no longer have a part in it. They put the tree up, they are getting big $ value gifts this year, so I haven't done lots of shopping for little gifts, presents for nieces and nephews in England were bought and posted mid year. I guess also not working for a big employer so no Christmas parties, and of course being away from the cold may be starting to have an effect, The first eight years of Christmas in the sun could have been a novelty. Or maybe it is just this year and next year will be different again.

I don't feel "bah humbug" far from it I love Christmas but I don't feel like it belongs to me anymore.

I'm sure I will feel better in the next couple of weeks when I see the Children's Christmas concerts.

Regardless, Merry Christmas everyone and I hope your preparation are well on the way.