I hadn't realised it was so long since I posted last.
Isn't it strange how your mind plays tricks on you (well mine does anyway).
Last week I was feeling trapped by my children and this week, despite being home on my own with them all week, I have not felt trapped once. In fact today, I dropped them of at their various schools/child care centres, went about my day, and so looked forward to being able to pick them up again.
I ventured into Target today, not because it was the first day of the sales but because I really did/still do need to buy a couple of presents.
I was not put off by the crowds, I'm a big girl now, I can hold my own. I got a trolley (obviously prepared to buy up big), and put a couple of things into it. I (finally) got to the check out, not brave enough yet to try the lay-by line, and must have looked a right tool, my mind was saying, you have the stuff, pay for it, then it said, Have you seen the line, no way, then it said, you're here now it won't take that long, and my mind said no way, during this time several people got very frustrated with me, you obviously are not allowed to stand still in Target for any length of time. I abandoned my trolley and left.
Ok so I am not yet ready for the Target sales, but I tried. I still need to buy some presents but I will do that another day. Don't really know when, it is another week before I have no children and by then it will be too late - deal with that later - I am just happy to say that the look on my face must have been enough for the security?? at the the shop front not to ask to look in my bag on my way out.