Hospital

My youngest is really sick again, she is running a really high temperature and is very lethargic, she is in hospital having tests, Jon is with her. At the moment they can't find anything that would be giving her a temperature so they are doing chest x-rays and blood tests. I am at home trying to be normal with my other 2 kids. We are all still sick but not as sick as my baby.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my husband Jon and my gran.

Sorry Jon your birthday is not going to be very special today, who would have thought we would still be so sick for this long. Jon is wrapped up in bed now trying to keep warm.

I feel bad, I didn't get chance to wrap his presents, the kids were making cards for him at last minute last night, coughing and crying over the paper - nice!!

I posted a present to my gran and then heard there is a UK postal strike so she may not get it in time.

My gran has got grandchildren and great grandchildren here in Australia, the UK and in Canada. Gran, god bless her, sent Jon some AU$$ and some Canadian dollars, I am assuming my cousin in Canada got the same.

She is starting to remind me of my Nanna who passed last year. She always managed to spell words wrong in our Christmas and Birthday Cards, it was cute and amusing we used to look out for it. She would spell my mam's (her daughter's) name wrong. She even spelt her own name wrong on occasion, and somtimes we were surprised how the cards arrived at all. Every error was different every time. I miss her.

Still sick

Kerryn, you jinxed me. My middle child got sick yesterday as did my husband, so that is 4 out of the 5 of us - and my middle child puked in my bed last night.

This sickness has come on so quickly. It was quite amusing in a way cos Jon is approx 2.5 hours behind me with the bug. Everything I feel, he gets 2.5 hours later. Youngest is a lot better but still not right. She is very clingy, I am struggling to keep up with who got what meds when. Baby is allergic to Panadol but can have Nurofen and Panadol suppositries - whole other story. I am allergic to Nurofen and can only have Panadol. Jon will take any drug he can get his hand on right now.

This bug is really nasty. I have just had to cancel creche, swimming and physio for tomorrow and will see tomorrow about Wednesdays appointments.

Lurgy

As predicted Baby is asleep. Quite peaceful. I have the choice of sitting in the quiet and reading my book (by the way I caved and got another crime fiction book) or do some ironing.

Not much of a choice and especially as I feel really sick. My head is pounding, my throat hurts, my cough is not giving up and my chest is tight. I think I have caught the lurgy. I am not ready. I haven't totally gotten over my last cold. So panadol and the book I think it is. The ironing and everything else will have to wait until the cleaning fairy arrives.

Oh as I had my hands full (literally) all day yesterday with a 2 year old and my husband was out at soccer and then driving around all the local suburbs looking for a late night pharmacy, I tried to order a Pizza for dinner for the family. I got through it ok I thought for a first timer and then they said an hour and a half, can you believe it? Can you see me telling my other kids, I have ordered Pizza, it will be here by the morning!!! Yeah right. I should have known I could rely on Jon to bring home, panadol, nurofen and McDonalds.

Feeling better?

My sick daughter jumped out of bed this morning feeling so much better than she did when she went to bed. The problem now 5 hours later is that she is starting to crash, she is exhausted, and probably has a headache but she refuses to accept that she is still sick. Just because the vomiting has subsided, she thinks she is up to running around a playground or going on a trip to the supermarket (why anyone would want to go to the supermarket is beyond me but there you go).

I have tried to convince her that she needs to go to bed for a rest and maybe she will be well enough to go to a playground later for a few minutes. Needless to say she is in her bed crying, I feel evil, but I have no doubt she will cry herself to sleep and feel better afterwards. I just hope she is not feeling neglected and bears scars for life due to her mother dumping her in bed, even if it is for her own good. Oh the wills of 2 year olds. Tell me it gets better.............Please???

Controversy and integrity

My husband said the other day that my blog was a bit dull lately. I said I know but I don’t have the most exciting life at the moment. Not that I am complaining because I have come to terms with my not hugely exciting life. I am happy and content with just a little impatience for the future.

He said you need to write about something controversial.

The problem is, I have a problem being controversial. I would love to be controversial but I seem to care too much about hurting other people’s feelings. I worry about who might read my blog and be offended, especially people I know and like but do annoying things every so often, you know, things that could be interesting to write about. The problem with this is the guilt that I carry when I do something that I think might have upset someone, or the stress that builds with the fear I might do something to offend someone.

I am even teaching my children to be nice to other people, to be considerate of their feelings, to try and make sure that everyone is happy. What a huge burden that is (for me, never mind for a child). I am not saying that it is OK to be rude to people or to be totally selfish and inconsiderate but is it really my job/my kids job to make sure everyone else is happy? What is wrong with doing something that might slightly offend or upset someone else if it means that my/my kids’ life is so much better or happier?

And to take this a stage further, there don’t appear to be too many people around that go out of their way to avoid upsetting people all of the time. Again I am not saying that everyone is rude and selfish and that my family is the only virtuous family around but that pleasing others is not their main goal in life.

So, where has this come from today, what has happened to make me write about this today, and will I regret it tomorrow? Probably, but right now I don’t care. Is this progress? I don’t know.

Someone who I like, but due to their actions has made me not like them so much now, didn’t have a problem with saying and doing something that upsets another person. (See I am still very cryptic and vague – I will work on that for the future).

Even now, I am feeling bad for disliking someone even though their actions totally warrant it and more or maybe what I am angry about is that I am wasting time dealing with it. (I knew when I starting writing that this wouldn’t make much sense.)

My husband coaches a local soccer team, and he does it really well. However one of the parents decided yesterday, during the game, I might add, to question his integrity, coaching and managing skills by saying that he is not being fair with the amount of time the players are being substituted.

Now maybe these parents don’t know, but the amount of time and effort that my husband puts into coaching this team way exceeds the 1 hour of training and the 40 minutes of the game each week.

He has, in his own time, taken coaching courses, so that he could teach these kids to the best of his ability.

He spends time each week planning the training sessions so that the kids can learn the skills they need in a fun way.

He spends hours updating the website with photos and match reports so that the other parents can have a record of their child’s achievements.

He records exactly how much time each player has on the field, who scored, who assists (cos it’s not all about who scores), who saves, and much more (OK, sounds a bit overboard to me but he is very passionate about it).

He takes the kids to gala days.

He rings around other teams to arrange friendly matches and I am sure he does so much more.

In addition to this, he is a total stress ball before the matches and I am pretty certain that this is the cause of the grey hair and not me or our own kids.

To summarize, he is a great coach, I don’t think the team could ask for better and to question his integrity is just plain rude.

………………………

Just to clarify, as if I need to!!! Once analysed, all the stats show, that the disadvantaged??? player actually has had more playing time than any other player in the team.

Had a nice weekend planned and then........

my youngest daughter got sick. It is Jon's birthday on Tuesday and because we never do much during the week, or ever, I decided to plan some things for the weekend. Last night, Friday, the kids had a pyjama party at the occasional care centre, so Jon and I took the opportunity to go out for a meal, on our own.

Before we left the youngest was a bit clingy, I was a bit naughty and dosed her up with Nurofen, and off we went. She was fine when we got to the centre and I figured, nothing would happen in the 2 hours that I was away from her. (and it didn't) I did however make the decision not to drink, not even a glass of wine, because I suspected I would be in for a rough night. Meal was very nice, company, nice to catch up with my husband again and that kids had a ball. Baby girl was fine.

Came home, put them to bed and baby vomited. Changed the bed, gave lots of cuddles and more Nurofen, but her back to bed and you guessed it, she puked again. Now struggling for bedding. Decided not to put her to bed yet, but keep her downstairs with us, near the easily cleanable tiled floor. She fell asleep, and settled. Did have a rough night, she had a very high temperature and was awake on and off through the night. I started to realise that my 8am creche and gym appointment would not be happening.

This morning, I also cancelled dinner for tonight. I had arranged for friends to come over, but didn't think it was right to pass her germs onto 2 other families (and 5 kids).

Just as well really cos our stars for today said that the evening would not be fun. I figured either it went ahead and she puked or we had to cancel. (oh my god this is the first time I have ever modified my life as a result of reading my stars)

As it is I have never seen her so sick. She has stopped puking but can barely walk, keeps whimpering and crying, won't eat and I can't do anything to help her. It really breaks my heart to see her like this. Glad I cancelled, even if the evening had been ok, I could not justify not cuddling her all day.

ps my washing machine is more tired than usual today.

You learn something new every day

How many things must a 2 year old learn every day?

This chilly morning I was hanging out washing and my 2 year old was with me. She said, "I have smoke coming out of my mouth."

Something that is so normal for us is a huge experience for her.

The other day my 7 (almost 8) year old son had his head in the freezer looking for his breath.

Warm sunshine and shoulder

I sat outside and read a book in the warm sun today. It is the first time I have sat down and read a book during the day for ages. I can tick off - do something nice for me today. It was so nice to relax. Not that I have done too much today. The girls had a swimming lesson at 9am this morning. I have moved the lesson to this slot permanently. It seems much easier than rushing after the gym and physio on a Tuesday. After swimming a quick trip to a couple of shops and then home.

The girls have not slept this afternoon, but they did rest in their rooms for about an hour. You can't have it all can you!!

My shoulder has taken a (brief, I hope) turn for the worse. My physio thinks that due to the length of time I have had the problem, it could take a very long time to get better. He also said that it will be a lot of trial and error and some of the things we try will result in a bit of pain. He said the only other option was to lose functionality of the shoulder, he even mentioned 'frozen shoulder' Debstar, I remember your comments, that is not an option so I will have to persevere with the trial and error and occasional pain. This week due to the pain he has prescribed rest and minimal functional movements, just to keep the joint free and moving and pec stretches.

Just had a nice long chat to a friend on the phone, always good for the emotional state - but now in the absence of the cleaning fairy it is back to the kitchen for this Cinderella.

Cleaning fairy

You know the little cleaning fairy that comes when the kids have gone to bed.... I wish she would come when I am out and busy all day!!

Breakfast

The sound of kids arguing over breakfast. Something to look forward to every evening as I go to bed.

Power of the Internet

I think I am just beginning to realise the power of the Internet.

Last week I asked a question about the Whyte Corporation and since then I have been getting emails in response. The emails are not from the usual people so I asked how they came across my blog.

It appears that they searched on google for Whyte Corporation. So, I did the same. The results showed the company website first and my lowly little blog second. I was very surprised but started to think about the damage that could be done to various companies by blogging.

I guess it is a good thing I am honest.

I also wonder though what other company names can be posted here and then have my blog turn up in the search engines.

The mind

I hadn't realised it was so long since I posted last.

Isn't it strange how your mind plays tricks on you (well mine does anyway).

Last week I was feeling trapped by my children and this week, despite being home on my own with them all week, I have not felt trapped once. In fact today, I dropped them of at their various schools/child care centres, went about my day, and so looked forward to being able to pick them up again.

...............................

I ventured into Target today, not because it was the first day of the sales but because I really did/still do need to buy a couple of presents.

I was not put off by the crowds, I'm a big girl now, I can hold my own. I got a trolley (obviously prepared to buy up big), and put a couple of things into it. I (finally) got to the check out, not brave enough yet to try the lay-by line, and must have looked a right tool, my mind was saying, you have the stuff, pay for it, then it said, Have you seen the line, no way, then it said, you're here now it won't take that long, and my mind said no way, during this time several people got very frustrated with me, you obviously are not allowed to stand still in Target for any length of time. I abandoned my trolley and left.

Ok so I am not yet ready for the Target sales, but I tried. I still need to buy some presents but I will do that another day. Don't really know when, it is another week before I have no children and by then it will be too late - deal with that later - I am just happy to say that the look on my face must have been enough for the security?? at the the shop front not to ask to look in my bag on my way out.

Perspective

Enough of the negativity. I was in a low place last week, not very low and not for very long but long enough to have me a little worried. I needed a little perspective, but perspective is difficult to achieve when you are already low.

Even more, I was frustrated with myself because that is not who I am. I like most people come up against little problems/issues and negativity all the time, usually though I am able to work through it and either find a solution or turn it into a positive. This wasn't happening last week so I was disappointed with myself.

We have worked through it now (don't know what I would do without my husband). I have re-focused. One of the main things I needed to do was to stop planning - planning whilst good in most circumstances - can be a major issue for me. I need to learn to live in the moment and deal with issues only if they are an issue and not try to foresee every future circumstance. Live for now.

So for the time being, I am going to put my youngest daughter in occasional care for one day a week. My other children will stay in school and preschool. I will try and work mornings and evenings and if clients need me during the day, I will deal with that then.

The whole reason for me re-training was to do something I love, to help others and most of all to fit in with my family. I got swept up in all the excitement and wanted to go full on into a full time business and was feeling trapped by my children.

My family are more important than anything to me and whilst I love training and training other people, it's not much fun if the family is not happy.

If I complain again about being trapped, let me wallow for a day and then remind me that my family is everything to me and I am so very very lucky.

I am also gonna read some different books, thank you for the suggestions.

Books

Feeling a little bit low lately and am starting to think it could be to do with the books I am reading. I love crime fiction but right now I think I need some balance. Probably the last 10 books have been about murders and child molesters. I need to look for some nice light hearted reading.

Also probably need to avoid too much business and training material. I think I need a break.

Whyte Corporation?

What happened to the Do-Not Call Register? We are getting heaps of calls at the moment from banks, telcoms and financial institutions especially.

Has anyone heard of the Whyte Corporation? They want to come round to sit down and talk to us for 15 minutes promising to save $000's off our mortgage! My rule is if it sounds too good to be true - it probably is!

http://www.whytecorporation.com.au/index.aspx

We all have enough on our plate right now without difficult decisions regarding our finances!

As for the DNC Register - it seems that it only applies to NSW companies calling NSW. Is it OK for a firm in Queensland to call Sydney and vice versa?

Child Care?

Child care or not to child care, now or later?

I have far too many decisions to make. Occasional Care, Family Day Care or Long Day Care. What I really need is my mum, but she is not here so I have to choose. Not only what is the best for my children but also what is best for my family, business, finances, sanity. It is all too hard.

Do I keep my kids in preschool or just go with the day care, do I do both or none. And what about my son, before and after school care or neighbours and friends.

I think I come up with an answer and then I change my mind again. I really do need my mum, even if just to tell me what to do, but my mum is too good for that. She would say I have to do what is right for me - and I just don't know.

Trivia Question

A couple of questions from the Trivia Night.

What is a Runcible Spoon?

Alexander Graham Bell was deaf. True or False?

Small world

Oh my God. Just finished writing last post and went to SMH to read news. This is where we had dinner on Sunday evening.



http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/teen-pubgoer-in-headlock-before-death/2007/07/08/1183833344550.html

Good times

Had a good weekend.

Saturday evening was a trivia night for the soccer club. That was an experience, I am still a naive Brit when it comes to some of the Aussie ways. I get BYO drinks and nibblies. Didn't realise that I would need to take my own glasses to drink from and napkins. I learn something everyday. Great night, lots of laughs, drinks, dancing and cheating (well not really because there was no rules) and we still didn't win. Some people must cheat really big.

Saturday morning managed a long lie in (or a lion - rooooaar - as my kids call it????) anyway it was very nice. I even got a snooze in the afternoon and then out for dinner so no cooking. Home to watch the last episode of Heros and then Grays Anatomy.

Weekend couldn't be much better.

Shoppers

The Big W toy catalogue arrived the other day and my 3 children eagerly read it looking for inspiration for Birthday and Christmas presents. My son found the MP3 player he desperately wants and can't stop looking at the picture. I may need to laminate it for him so he can keep it forever (well it is a long time til Christmas). Oh and the Harry Potter books.

Other than that though there was absolutely nothing in it that any of my 3 children wanted or needed. Now either they are strange children and don't like what the rest of the population of children adore or they are........spoilt. Yes I confess my kids are spoilt, they have so many toys that they don't even play with. But what do I get them for Christmas and Birthdays?

I thought the books were a good idea and could be bought from one of the many relatives that sends money (and then I have to trawl the shops looking for inspiration) so off we went me and my 3 kids to Big W.

Couldn't find a shopping trolley, should have been a warning, but continued anyway. The Harry Potter books were at the entrance. It got busy, and then busier and then even busier and then unbelievable - there were hundreds of people (well tens) with 2 shopping trolleys filled with toys queuing up to put them on lay by. Now I don't like shopping at the best of times (if I was to analyse this, I probably don't like other people in the shops when I want to shop but anyway) but I found it hard to understand why people do it. They must queue for hours to put on lay by and I must admit I have only done it once but it was an awful experience. I queued for ages to lay by, I queued even longer to pick it up and then they couldn't find it and it got worse.......I would rather pay full price and get less for my money than do that again.

Maybe I am spoilt also.........

Old habits

I need to get over my old habits. I found myself this morning peeping out the curtains to see what the weather was like. What was I thinking? This was something I did every day in the UK and to some extent in NZ also.

The cold wet weather recently has got me reverting back to these old habits. I need to remind myself that weather like that is not the norm here and that most days in Sydney are actually bright blue skies with a bright yellow sunshine. Oh I love this country.

Dress ups

I am desperately trying to figure out why my 3 year old daughter feels I need her help in dressing in the morning.


I try every morning to get up at least 20 minutes before everyone else so that I can have a cup of tea and read the news/blogs in peace before the chaos that is my day starts. Sometimes though, the little devils manage to trump me and be in my bed before I manage to get out of it. On these days, I throw on a dressing gown and come downstairs with them.


This means that when I return up the stairs to shower, clean teeth and dress I usually have an audience. I have gotten used to the audience but now the audience has started to participate.

My daughter, gets clothes out of my drawers and puts them on my bed ready for me to wear, just as I do for her. Why does she think when she can't do it for herself, that she needs to do it for me. Not only that, she is a really girly girl so the clothes that she chooses and gets out are not usually appropriate for a morning at the gym, or a day cleaning, or even a shopping trip. However when I point this out to her she gets highly offended, then her whine gets higher in octave, which brings the other children running to gang up on me as though I am the wicked stepmother and not the mother that loves??? them dearly and would never dream of hurting them????

Then because we are usually late for something, the clothes stay on my bed until they fall into a crumpled heap on the floor and stay there until the dust has gathered and triggered my asthma, so I move them to the laundry to sit in a basket to be washed, don't start me on ironing, but then not longer after they finally return to my wardrobe or drawers they end up back on my bed via my daughter.

Does she think I don't have enough work and would love to spend more time ironing, washing in cleaning, is she trying to say I need to improve my dress sense, or is she just trying to be helpful and loving?

Dinner & friends

Thursday and Friday we had friends over for dinner. Thursday was friends from Nelson Bay that we don't get to see as often and we would like and Friday was neighbours we see all the time but not for more than a few minutes at a time so it was nice to have dinner.

I had a great weekend, (this weekend started Thursday evening) good company, nice food and wine and great conversation. What more can you ask for.

In addition to this my husband had a day off work so we were able to catch up with each other. We figured out that over the last 6-7 years we manage this about every 2.5 years. Not really good enough. Room for improvement I think. Although I am hoping it will improve when the kids are older- not that I am wishing their lives away.

School holidays

The first day of the school holidays was not quite a success. It started off OK. I went to the doctor to discuss the results of my MRI. The good news is that there is no major damage in there. I have tendinosis of the supraspinatus and various swellings and inflammations connected with that. So it is off again to the physio and any other practitioner that may be able to help. (Thank you for the suggestions)

I then took the kids to the playground for morning tea and a play, then back home for lunch and try and get the girls down for a sleep. Failed with one so we played soccer out the back.

Our back yard is tiered but down either side it is a full on slope and my eldest daughter decided to ride down this on her bike - with her training wheels, needless to say we are very lucky we didn't need to go to hospital. She did need her arm bandaging but only to fix the tears not the arm.

This is where I should have realised that things were going to take a turn for the worse, my youngest daughter slept for almost 4 hours this is so unlike her, but I just put it down to tiredness. How dumb am I?

When she got up she was so clingy and whiney and whingey etc etc. She refused dinner (nothing new there but that is another story) and a little later threw up and again, gave her panadol and she threw it up immediately. Then refused any more medicine and the harder I tried the more defiant she got.

To top all this I was on my own (Jon is in Melbourne, but don't worry he had a blow by blow account of the whole thing) trying to bathe 3 children one still vomiting, another trying to mother her to the point that I was yelling at her to leave her alone and thankfully my son being as helpful as he could. I do not know how single parents manage?

I was only up twice in the night, it could have been so much worse.

This morning I called the gym and cancelled the creche, I am not one of those mothers who can take their kids in all sick and snotty and expect someone else to deal with them, nor do I like the idea of passing the sickness to all the other children (although we probably got it from there in the first place). Nor do I think I could stop yawning enough to breathe properly and would probably end up with a stitch.

I am hoping for a vomit free day today.