It's quiet at home today

It's strangely quiet at home today. The kids are back at school and Jon has gone away for business. I've not been in much today but it already feels much too quiet.

freedigitalphotos.net

Darling Harbour Dancing

We're off to Darling Harbour today, TJ is dancing again. Unfortunately this time we can't all go. The little one has her soccer presentation day and CJ (not all my kids have J as their middle initial) is playing in the Orange Blossom Festival this afternoon.

So last night we did the curlers again. I put in her hair 50 or the wiggly worm curlers and she tried to sleep on them last night. I hope next year her hairstyle calls for straight.

I did buy a curling wand but I'm not having much success with the curls staying in. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I can get the curls in but they fall after an hour. Not good enough when they need to be in for about 4 - 5 hours.

Here are the before and after shots taken for performances a few weeks ago.

Not happy

If your child played an instrument in a school band and the band was using music that was written by a convicted pedophile, would you be concerned?

What response would you expect from the school when you raised your concerns?

Would you expect that a parallel could be drawn between the "lifestyle choices" of someone who is gay and a convicted pedophile?

True colors - Cyndi Lauper

Despite my most recent posts. I heard this yesterday and saw the positive in it. It is not a reflection of my mood ie the sad eyes, it's a reflection of me seeing true colors shining through.

You with the sad eyes 

don't be discouraged 

oh I realize 

it's hard to take courage 

in a world full of people 

you can lose sight of it all 

and the darkness inside you 

can make you fell so small 

But I see your true colors 

shining through 

I see your true colors 

and that's why I love you 

so don't be afraid to let them show 

your true colors 

true colors are beautiful 

like a rainbow 

Show me a smile then 

don't be unhappy, can't remember 

when I last saw you laughing 

if this world makes you crazy 

and you've taken all you can bear 

you call me up 

because you know I'll be there 

And I'll see your true colors 

shining through 

I see your true colors 

and that's why I love you 

so don't be afraid to let them show 

your true colors 

true colors are beautiful 

like a rainbow 

Photo by tanakawho

Clean up

Seeing pictures and hearing people talking about cleaning up their towns and cities has made me proud. Not all of Britain is bad.

Riots

I am really saddened by what is going on back home in England. Also devastated to see and hear that my adored Manchester was attacked last night.

Firstly I want to say that I hope my family and friends are safe and that their properties are damage free.

I'm not exactly sure of where I stand in terms of who or what is to blame.

Obviously there are many opportunist thugs out there on the streets just looking to rob and destroy whatever they can but there also seems to be a lot of youths out there who are hurting.

Please don't misunderstand, I am not in any way excusing their behaviour, it is so far removed from anything I can comprehend but I cannot help feeling that in some way some one has failed them.

Is it the parents, the teachers, the government, the system?

I've been reading a lot of opinions and can agree partially with both sides of the argument.

I agree that we make our own choices and decisions in life but we can't choose who we are born to or where we are raised. As children others make choices for us. Right or wrong.

My generation is blaming the kids, maybe my generation failed them. Maybe by seeing this coming and leaving the country 10 years ago, I failed them.

RIP

Goodnight Uncle Jeff. You can rest pain free now. 

xxx

Birthday's and Movies

We celebrated Jon's birthday this weekend. The girls were so excited about it. It's lovely that they get just as much enjoyment out of other peoples birthdays as they do their own.

Jon and I were both pretty sore and tired yesterday, his excesses due to soccer and mine due to my Saturday morning long run so we decided a trip to the movies might be nice.

On the way, we were discussing when was the last time we had been to the movies as a whole family. Can you believe never?

We were going to see Mr Popper Penguins until we realised that Jim Carrey was in it. I can't stand him, and I really don't think I could have managed a full movie. We looked at Captain America and found that IMDB has rated it PG - 13 and the parental guide didn't look too bad. A few scary bits but for my girls who are major Dr Who fans, probably ok. But - the cinema has it rated M.

M or Jim Carrey. Sorry to say but Mr Popper's Penguins was never in with a chance.

Captain America it was. Vmax and 3D. The girls loved it, though didn't really understand it. For me, it was ok. Vmax was nice and I only got nauseous twice from the 3D.

Baskin Robbins afterwards for icecream and home for a roast beef dinner and birthday cake.

RIP

The downside of having a large extended family is that as they age, bad news comes with almost every phonecall home. At least that's how it's been for the last 4 months.

My dad had 88 first cousins, who all married and most had several children which makes for a very large family. We obviously are not really close to them all but we are to many and at the end of the day in our family, "family is family".

Another family member has passed away, sadly from asbestosis, the same condition that my uncle has.

The treatment that we were hopeful of for my uncle has failed and he is declining quickly. He starts another treatment next week.

Gran had a fall trying to escape from her nursing home and broke her hip, she has just had a hip replacement. She fell again trying to escape the hospital and had to have another surgery. She didn't look like she would pull through but they found out she was anaemic and have treated that. She has improved and she should be back at the nursing home this week.

She no longer knows who I am and gets upset trying to remember. The best I can do now is to write and on better days, my family will read her my letters.

Not a positive post, I know. I am having difficulty finding a positive tonight. I'll try again tomorrow.

Good idea at the time

I didn't have a partner at kickboxing last night, actually, I deliberately held back in the hope that I would get the trainer. When you box with the trainer, you don't have to hold the pads so you get to do double the session. I thought it was a good idea at the time.

I had a great session, was totally exhausted and felt on top of the world.

Today, during my weights session, I was thinking that maybe it wasn't such a good idea, and now having walked around the shops for 4 hours and lead my own group class tonight, I am pretty sure it was not a good idea!

Would I do it again?

Without a doubt. :-D

The Money Tree

A little one of these would be nice right now. I don't need a huge one, just a small one to keep me going.

Travel Bug

I think I caught a Travel Bug when I was in tropical Cairns.

Ever since I got back, I've been thinking of all the places I want to see. A lot of these places I used to think about before I had children. I'm sure when the mummy hormones kick in, they include a huge dose of Travel Bug anti-biotics because I haven't thought of these places for a long time.

I would love to go to Russia, Prague, Canada, Alaska, Singapore, Hong Kong even back to the UK to see my family.

Jon didn't come home for lunch today, it appears that he is at the Pharmacy getting another course of Travel Bug anti-biotics. We're not going anywhere for a while. :(

Good job Sydney summer is on it's way! :)

My lines tell my story

I don’t spend much time in front of the mirror looking at myself, with three children it’s just not a priority to spend a long time there. However, over the last few months when I am there,  drying my hair, I have to admit that the lines on my face were starting to bother me a little bit.

I’m getting older, obviously, but I was starting to think about how I would age, would I look older than my years? I guess getting copious amounts of emails from deal of the day type websites offering many a treatment to preserve my youth was not helping.

Today though, I felt different. Today I celebrated 16 years of marriage to my fantastic husband (I really should tell him more often that I think he is amazing).

Today I have been thinking of the day we got married and about our time together when we were younger and before we had children.

In front of the mirror I started to see those lines in a different way.

My lines tell my story.

My lines explain 

• that I have been happily married for 16 years
• that I have 3 beautiful children
• that my son is nearly 12 and turning into an amazing young man just like his dad
• how many broken nights sleep I had when I had the joy of breastfeeding each one of them
• all friendships I have enjoyed and the late night parties (obviously in the past now)
• the trips away to remote cottages with friends and lying on the grass looking up at the stars and singing loudly to Oasis until the stars disappeared and the sun began to rise
• the countries I have been lucky enough to visit
• the stress and worry that my extended family have caused, though I am still blessed to have them in my life
• the wrong decisions I have made and the lessons I have learned from them
• the countless hours spent waiting in Doctor’s surgery’s because my child is unwell again
• that I lived and loved the 80’s and everything about them
• that I watched Charles and Diana get married on live TV

My lines show that I have lived a wonderful life, that I have wisdom and maturity and experience and without my lines I am just a 20 year old with a minimal life story to tell.

How dull would that be?

Happy Anniversary

16 years ago today on the beautiful Caribbean Island of Barbados I married the most important person in my life.

My gorgeous husband

With my dad

Family and friends

I am pretty sure I love him even more now than I did then. xx

I am grateful for.....

I am grateful that my children are in holiday club this week and lunch is provided. As a result of this I am extremely grateful that I do not need to make 15 sandwiches this week.

This weeks run!

This week I felt better prepared mentally for my Saturday morning run. I'd told myself all the right things

• You're doing it for you and no one else
• You are improving every week
• Just give it a go
• You can do it

When I got there, my trainer had hurt his ankle and couldn't do the run. Instead he sent us on our 4km time trial, a whole two weeks earlier than we were supposed to do it, apparently! I had no idea, this was the first time I had heard of it.

I knew that the park we train at, or rather start from is exactly 4km if you run two laps, and it is more undulating than hilly so I wasn't feeling too bad about it. I was also beginning to think that feeling a bit flu-y might be in my favour, at least I could improve next time. See always the positive!!

Then he told us the route. And guess what - it wasn't 2 laps of the park, it was half the park and then up a massive hill and then on the way back, up another massive hill (conveniently avoiding acknowledgement of any down hill bits here).

Off I went, keeping up with the front pack until my shoelace came undone and I had to re-tie it. From then on I was playing catch up.

The result, I ran 4km quicker than I have ever done before (when not on a treadmill). Of course there is still room for improvement but I am pretty proud of my efforts.

When we had all finished, there happened to be 30 minutes of the class left. No early mark? Nope! SPRINTS!! 25 minutes of SPRINTS!! My legs are so sore.

I did manage a slow 4km run today though. Must be crazy! :-)

So ok, that wasn't the actual hill, but it was close - honest!

Choices

One of the things that I have tried to teach my children is that we work hard not to get great exam results or to be top of the class but to have choices.

I want them to be able to choose how to live their lives. At the moment my son seems to think he wants to work 2-4 hours a week and own a couple of porches!!

Well Callum took me at my word and is now in the very, I was going to say lucky, but it's not luck that got him here, it was hard work and dedication. He's in the position where he has been offered a place at a Selective High School, he's been invited to interview for a scholarship at a private school and still have the option of two local high schools.

The choices that Jon and I now have to make about our son's future are pretty tough. There are pros and cons for each school.

We had a meeting with his teacher this morning that provided a little more clarity but we are still not 100%.

I'm not sure I like choices anymore.

Do you think you’d make a good president?

Would I be a good president or prime minister or Queen is the blog of the day from wordpress.

Probably not would be my answer, I change my mind too much! Or is that what prime ministers and politicians do?

Seriously, I am so far removed from politics that I would be completely useless as it.

Queen, well that's another thing altogether. If you consider being Queen just as a ruler who can make up any rules she likes then maybe. I'd do all sorts of things that are good for humanity. Do I sound like a beauty queen contestant?

Really though, there is no way I could cope with all the pomp and ceremony around being a queen or a royal. Nor could I deal with all the intrusion from the media. And for that matter I wouldn't want to be famous either.

I guess the conclusion here is that I am pretty happy with the life that I have. :-)

When was the last time you changed your mind?

When was the last time you changed your mind?

This is the post of the day from (21 June 2011) www.dailypost.wordpress.com

I change my mind all the time. I am pretty sure it is for me also a form of procrastination and definitely a trait of my perfectionism. but that's another post.

The most recent thing is in relation to my business. I am changing direction slightly or rather expanding, but the specifics of the change of mind are all in relation to the website and business structure.

Do I merge the two businesses or keep them separate? Do I have a new business name of leverage off the current name. Do I have one website or two separate sites? Or maybe three. A header company and then two for the two business streams.

Still not made my mind up. I thought I had but I haven't. That is what I am supposed to be working on now instead of stockpiling posts because I am so bad at posting if I don't stockpile them and write while I'm on a roll, I might not post again for 3 months - or more....

Patience

My kids have been performing 'magic' tricks with a deck of cards recently. It's been quite hilarious to watch them trying to pull the wool over our eyes with their 'magic'.

I was sat this morning having my cup of tea and the cards were on the table beside me. It took me back to when I was a child and was taught to play patience by my dad with a deck of cards.

I wondered if Tamzin was old enough to learn. We sat down together and I showed her how to play. Initially she was saying I don't get it, I don't understand and she started to get a bit frustrated. I asked her just to sit and watch for a while and she would pick it up.

She did. I really enjoyed this time with her. I enjoyed being able to show her something from my past and something that didn't involve a computer or Wii or DS.

Most of all though, I enjoyed watching her show her little sister how to play. The two of them side by side on a Sunday morning playing patience was beautiful.

Get on with it

My run was hard today. Mentally and physically.

When I was rudely awakened this morning, I had no idea where I was (not that I am usually anywhere else other than my bed) what day it was or why there was a loud alarm type noise in my bedroom.

However I quickly remembered that it meant it was time to get up for my run class.

From that point until we were stretching afterwards, the negativity in my mind was relentless. For those of you who have children, imagine that your child is at you non stop, whingeing about everything. Well that child was in my head for an hour.

• I can’t do this
• It’s too hard
• I’ll never make it up that hill
• I wonder if I can switch to another class
• Why am I doing this?
• I’m not a runner
• What, another hill
• ...and you want me to do it twice
• Only half way there
• Still 10 minutes to go

The point here is that we all have days like this.

During the run I didn’t realise that the positive in me was winning this little internal battle, but it did win.

I finished the run and I will be there again next week to do it all over again!

Cairns

Our trip to Cairns was very welcome. Although Jon had just started a new job, we needed the break.

This trip was booked in December, between Christmas and New Year actually and we managed to fly the 5 of us to Cairns and stay for a week in a 4 star hotel for $16.

We used a voucher for the flights and our Trendwest membership for the accommodation.

The voucher had so many restrictions on it that we never thought we would be able to use it but, for 2 days in December Qantas had a sale and it worked out perfectly for us.

We booked the trip to come after Callum's scholarship and selective high school exams, we didn't know at the time that Jon would be just starting a new job.

Cairns is beautiful.

It was not like I had expected though. The landscape is unbelievable. I knew that Rainforest was up there but I expected it to be a long drive. I never expected Rainforest to meet the beach.

The waterfalls were amazing, even though it hadn't rained for 7 weeks.

There weather was perfect shorts and T-shirt weather.

The water was 23 degrees.

Jon didn't take a work Blackberry.

I didn't have to get up at stupid o'clock.

We could both have a beer at the Tavern next door and not have one of us driving.

We ate fantastic tasting bananas for a reasonable price. ($14.99 in Sydney at the moment.)

We snorkeled on the Great Barrier Reef.

We didn't get stung.

We didn't cook.

We could all have to eat whatever we wanted every night.

Not much washing up.

I didn't do any laundry.

We rode the cable car up the mountain.

We came down again on a train.

We had the most amazing fudge from Kuranda markets.

The Sydney airport shuttle bus didn't make us wait.

The ash cloud didn't affect our trip.

The 5 of us had a ball.

Tough times (warning long post - sorry)

I don't think I'm a negative person at least I try not to be - so when things get tough, I look for the positive or just keep myself to myself. This goes part of the way to explaining my absence and to why I stayed away from various forums.

I don't go looking for the sympathy vote.

However now that things have settled I feel I can talk/write about them.

When Jon left his job it was without a doubt the right thing to do. He needed to and our family needed it too.

The time off gave us time to reflect as a family and work out what was important. However, the job market at that time was very slow and while we had to some savings to keep us going for a while, after 3 months, we really needed him to earn an income probably by finding a job.

We found that not only was the job market slow, but that the level of salaries had fallen and they were not matching the position.

During this time, we had a pool built (we had already financially committed to this) and if anyone has done it, you will know that it comes with many stresses. I am so thankful that Jon was home to deal with all of this. For 4 months we had people in our back yard on an almost daily basis.

To add to my worries, I got a facebook message from my sister saying hey, how are you, we should talk soon. Ok, fine. Then when I didn't immediately, a text saying, are you up, can I call you? Now starting to think something is up, surely she couldn't be pregnant again.

I called her, a bit of chit chat and then I heard her take a deep breath and I knew something bad was coming, she said she had something to tell me, Dad was sick and was in hospital, he'd had a stroke. At that point, it felt like my world had fallen apart. My dad, although he has diabetes is fit and strong and young, he is only 57.

All kinds of thoughts were going through my head, firstly I recalled that his dad, my grandad, had died at 58. Then the thoughts of do I need to go back to the UK to see him, should I go back. How can I explain to my children why I'm crying without scaring them.

I never expected my dad to get sick or to really need me (not that he did) I was always concerned for my mum. She is on her own, dad has remarried. I started to question whether living overseas away from my family was the right thing to do. Was I being selfish by choosing to live such a fantastic life here? (As an aside, I realise that that thought was pretty offensive to my family, who says my life is better than theirs.)

I hung up from my sister and told Jon what had happened. He went straight away to call my Dad's wife. More bad news. Not in terms of Dad's health thankfully, but it was Dads news and private to him so I won't share it here.

So, what next?

I kept in touch with my sister and within a few days Dad was fine. He went from bad to fine so quickly. It was almost like it never happened. He made a full recovery. I am so thankful for that.

When he came home from the hospital, I called him (obviously) to see how he was. We talked about what could have caused it and what he needs to do now to stay healthy. I suggested that maybe it was stress that brought it on. I got the usual, I don't suffer from stress but maybe the news about Gran and Jeff has been playing on my mind.

More bombshells, I had no idea what he was talking about.

I knew my Gran had Alzheimer's but that it was being managed. We had even laughed in the past (rightly or wrongly, I don't know) about some of her forgetfulness. He told me that she was getting worse quickly and that he didn't know how long she would be able to stay in her own home. He'd been discussing it with his brother and sister and the careworkers.

Gran's not so young anymore but she has always been very fit and very healthy and most importantly since being on her own for 30 years, very independent . Being forgetful was upsetting her greatly and the thought of going into a home was just awful for her.

So that was Gran, what about Jeff (dad's brother, my uncle). Dad said, "Oh, don't you know? I'm sorry Love, he's dying. He has less than 12 months to live."

Jeff has Asbestosis.

While I am obviously very upset at that news I immediately thought of my dad and whether he could have it. I asked where Jeff had got it from and yes, it from a time when he and my dad had worked together. Grandad had also worked there (small town) and he died from lung cancer.

I asked dad was he ok? ie could he have it, is he going to get tested? They had already tested him and he was fine.

Sadly, that wasn't the end. Dad had to have 4 weeks off work. Two weeks into that, Gran had a stroke, well lots actually, within a 48 hour period.

All the while, I am asking, whoever, what have I done to deserve all this bad news. I'm a good person. Why is this happening?

Much more questioning about where I should live. Lectures from my dad saying don't you dare come back, I didn't raise you to look after me. Is Jon going to get a job? Are we going to lose the house? Can I pay for my kids music and dance tuition?

I came to the realisation, that in terms of the UK, I can't change anything. It's happened. All I can do is honour my family by living the most healthy and fulfilling life that I can.

The position today. Gran is not well in terms of her mental state. She could not go home and has now moved to a residential care home.

Dad is back a work and seemingly all good.

Jeff is having treatment and the doctors think they may be able to give him 24 months.

Jon has a job.

We still have a home filled with love and gorgeous children. x

I've got my desk back

Yesterday I moved Jon's things out of my desk and reclaimed it. I could suggest that the lack of desk is why I've not been posting but that would be a total lie.

Things have moved on for us now. In the last month or so, Jon started work at a company that is less than a 5 minute drive from home.

The money situation is going to be very difficult for us as this role comes with a huge reduction in salary but that is the decision we have made to give us the quality of life we are looking for.

If we need to sell the house and move in the future so be it. In the meantime, we will try and make cuts to our living costs and increase my earnings.

Cutting costs is going to be really difficult for me as we don't have an extravagant lifestyle, except for the activities that our children do. I don't want to have to stop them. We have cut back to the point that they only do what the absolutely love now, unfortunately those are where the highest costs are.

Jon is now able to come home for lunch a couple of times a week. Leave for work at the same time he used to but arrive early. He is home most evenings before 5.30pm and on a couple of days, he picks Miss T up from dancing on his way home which means I don't have to take all the kids out again - and I could be preparing dinner.

We are also very lucky to have just had a week in Cairns, I know, new job and lower income but a holiday in Cairns. I'll leave the explanation for a later post.

Holidays

Ok - so I'm supposed to be working, and I am working, I have been pretty productive today, but in the back of my mind, well at the front really I have this nagging need to update here.

I am very aware that I committed to 5 times a week and it's been a while. I do have a reason for not posting - for part of the time but again am very aware that the reason was not going to serve me much longer - so here I am!

I'll keep it brief for now and hope that it satisfies the need to post until maybe tomorrow.

We have been away on holiday, though we did get back on the evening before Australia Day.

We went to Port Macquarie and had a fantastic time, though for me it was not relaxing in the slightest. Having 3 children wave hopping and body boarding in the water for hours at a time is not relaxing for a mum, nor was the tennis, the fishing (don't like fishing), the barefoot bowling, it was a challenge trying to get it in between downpours, swimming, walking, surfing, washing (it never ends) etc.

I did partake in a few bottles of wine though in the evenings, well I didn't have to get up at stupid o'clock to train clients. As much as I love them (and I do) I also like a wine occasionally!

Plus the tennis (the Open, not my attempt at it) requires a glass or two I think!

So yes I am now having a well deserved break from the vino and taking part in this years febfast. I am now onto my 4th day of no alcohol - I started a day early. Even I couldn't take another day of wine drinking. I even left just a glassful in the fridge for my last day, but didn't have it. My husband 'helped' me out there and drank it on Tuesday.

That's all for now folks!

See ya soon

Write about one thing you’ve never told anyone and explain why

This is a suggestion from The Daily Challenge Blog at WordPress

I don't think I have anything that I have never told anyone. I am a very open person and keep very few (if any secrets). I don't spill my whole life to everyone I meet and can be quite private, if that makes sense, but I do talk to those that are close to me. I am selective about who I tell certain things to but not secretive.

Do you find that you have different friends that you tell different things to?

Febfast

February is close and again this year I am giving up alcohol for the month. I enjoy a glass or two of wine and I like to drink socially but I am very aware of all the youths out there who struggle with drugs and/or alcohol. I also have an 11 year old boy who in the next few years will be exposed to alcohol outside the home and at that time I will have no direct control over how he handles the situation. I do hope however, that what we teach him in the meantime will influence his decisions when the time comes.

By participating in Febfast, I hope to show him, that although his mum likes a glass of wine, she doesn't need it to enjoy herself and that it is no hardship to say no. In fact he also knows that for the last 2 New Years Eve's I have not had a drink and have been the driver, why, because it was more important for me to have a good time with friends that lived a few towns away than to have that drink.

Anyway, I know the timing isn't perfect and that you will already have dug deep to donate to the Queensland floods, but if you could consider helping me to raise money by clicking this link and sponsoring me to stay alcohol free for February I would really appreciate it.

Of course, I would love it if you could join me instead. Alternatively please just spread the word that Febfast exists and maybe more people will sign up for an alcohol free February.

Queensland

I had a few ideas for posts but given light of the events in Queensland, they seemed inappropriate. Not because they were offensive but I guess they were pretty light hearted and to be truthful my heart is pretty heavy right now.

Not only are these people suffering now but they will continue to struggle for months, maybe years to come. I just want it to be known that my thoughts are with those facing difficult times.

Winter at home

I was looking through flickr to find a photo that inspired me to write about, then I remembered that my dad had sent a few pictures to me just before Christmas.

Our home town in Northern England had quite a lot of snow recently, so much in fact that roads and schools were closed and the "bin men" couldn't/wouldn't get out to collect the rubbish!

Not only is this picture a reminder of my family and hometown but it also reminds me of my childhood.

See, when I was small, I loved the snow, we built snowmen and had snowball fights, we went to the Abbey to sledge down the amphitheatre, usually on big black bin bags because the sledges broke on the first decent.

I remember the sound of the snow crunching under my feet, catching snowflakes on my gloves as they fell to the ground, seeing that every snowflake was different. I remember coming back into the house with cold wet feet and red cheeks from the cold.

When I got older and started working and driving, the snow was a huge inconvenience. It appeared that it snowed briefly and before you knew it, it had turned to a dirty wet slush and then ice that was dangerous for both drivers and pedestrians. Trying to rush to work on ice was not fun in the slightest.

I love this picture because my dad sent it and because it reminds me of the fun times we had together when I was a child.

Evicted

I've been kicked out of my office. I finally got rid of the double bed in the spare room and turned it into an office for me.

Too much opportunity for procrastination if I use the family computer in the family room. I can see the dirty floors, the ironing, the dishes.

But, I've been kicked out. The very first day Jon was off from work, he moved in his laptop, his MP3 player and speakers, all of a sudden it was a necessity to buy a new chair 'rolls eyes'. The only time I can gain access these days is if I am bearing a cup of tea and/or food.

I have to change this!!

ps I did ponder over the title of this post given that you know my husband is out or work but then I figured, it could be procrastination so I left it.

pps I still haven't showered or snoozed from the other day, but don't panic, I have post dated these last 2 posts.... oops

Dexter

How cool is Dexter? I love it. I have always enjoyed crime thrillers but got bored with CSI and all those shows, also really really hated the TV adverts.

But... I love Dexter, it has everything and it so much better to watch it on DVD, you don't miss anything, can put it on when you want (even if it's a little too late)!

We don't watch much TV but Dexter is a must.... and House, love that too!

What is your must watch TV program?

Sleep versus goals

I really should be having a shower and a nap now. After just 4 days back at work, I am staying up until about 11pm, one night was 1am. We were watching the 4th series of Dexter on DVD and as there were only 3 episodes to go, we had to finish it. However, with my job, I don't have the luxury of late starts, my average "get up" time is 5am, some days earlier and some a little later.

It doesn't take much to conclude that I don't get enough sleep.

I wish it was as easy as going to bed earlier but I don't want to. I enjoy spending time with my husband and the only time we get to do that is a few evenings a week, after 9pm-ish.

Daytime snoozes are not usually an option due to the kids being home at 3pm, however this afternoon, I have no clients, I have done my training, made muffins with the girls, so afternoon tea is taken care of - therefore I should be sleeping, but no - because I committed to blogging more frequently.

There done for today, I'm off for a shower and a snooze - wish me luck (probably regarding the snooze not the shower) :)

Something that makes me smile

My children have the ability to stress me out, disappoint me and drive me crazy. They make me angry, they are majorly time consuming but at the end of the day (sometimes literally) they are the loves of my life and the most simple act by them can put a huge smile on my face.

Of course I am proud of them, they really are great children, they are beautiful and intelligent, they are kind and caring, they are child like but can behave like grown ups. Yet they can still drive me crazy.

They are untidy and leave the house a mess, they roll their eyes if I dare to ask them to pick up a toy or put a plate in the dishwasher or tell them to get off their computer, ipod, wii, PlayStation, to turn off the TV.

But I smile when

• I hear them laughing
• they play together
• they sing the wrong words to a song
• they help each other
• they seek my hand to hold
• I find a picture they have drawn of me with I Love Mummy written on it
• they get their words confused
• they sit on my knee
• they flutter their eyes and I am jelly
• they touch my hair
• they say I look pretty
• they think I have lost them in a store and they catch my eye and smile because they know they are safe with me
• they tell a joke that doesn't work
• they are sleeping

Twelve nights

For many this goal for 2011 will sound very lame, for me it will be a huge challenge but one that I am ready to face.

The goal - Twelve Nights out in 2011.

I guess that roughly equates to one night a month, which to me sounds difficult (when will I find the time?) though twelve nights from 365 is more than achievable.

To be more specific that is 12 nights out with company. As much as I love going to concerts with my husband the goal is to interact with people outside of my immediate family.

For financial reasons, (ie a babysitter costing a fortune) it may be that I go out on my own with girlfriends while Jon looks after the kids but I'm sure on occasion we can both go out with a group of friends.

Rules - it must be fun! It must not involve sitting around a dinner table with "friends" complaining about their lives, partners or discussing horrific stories in the media.

I will need to be selective I think.

Welcome to 2011

I have tried many times in the last year to write here regularly with little success. I have many ideas of what to write about when I am out and about but when it comes to sitting down and writing, my mind goes blank or to be honest I can't be bothered.

In my defence 2010 has also been a pretty big year for me. On the plus side my business has grown and has provided us with the much needed extra income, however that hasn't come without a cost.

Towards the end of last year it became clear that whilst I love what I do it was taking over my life completely. It didn't help that Jon's role at work was also becoming more demanding of his time and attention.

The result was that neither of us had any energy left to focus on ourselves, each other, our children (other than doing what needed to be done) or our future.

We realised this a few months ago and made the decision that this had to change. This is easier said than done when you are in the middle of it.

Now Jon and I may not have been in the same room much for the last 6 months but it seems we were still on the same page.

I signed on with a new business coach and my goals are to grow the business while providing a balance with the rest of my life and Jon resigned from his job in mid December.

He doesn't have a job to go to and we are not sure whether going back to a high pressured job is the way to go for him (despite the fact that he is very good at what he does).

Jon is very motivated and very driven and in the 10 days or so between the resignation and Christmas eve, he set up a business, is in discussions to go into partnership with another business and is applying for jobs.

This should be a scary time for us. We have a huge mortgage and big monthly expenses with all the activities we provide for our children, but we are not afraid. For both of us it feels like things are exactly as they should be.

This post was supposed to be about how I would find something to write, it seems it wasn't that difficult after all.

Anyway, some of my facebook friends are taking daily photographs and some blog friends are writing daily blogs with the help of http://dailypost.wordpress.com/

I will try and post something 5 days a week. I can't promise 7, I am after all looking for balance, though I have a feeling I may find it here.....