Grans funeral is today and I'm really sad not to be there with my family. 

Although I'm obviously very sad that I've lost my gran, it has raised the issue again of us living so far away from the rest of my family. 

Living here is fantastic, we love it. Australia has enabled us to have such an amazing lifestyle and I really don't want that to change. When all is well with family back home I am very happy here, however when things aren't I struggle with it. 

A whole host of emotions are raised, including jealousy and guilt. 

Sadly I can't see the situation getting any easier as my immediate family ages. 

So, what can I do?

Until I'm truly in that situation I won't know exactly how I feel but in the meantime I need to increase my income and savings to a point where I can afford to visit the UK regularly and see my family in good times. So that I can visit when times are not so great. So I can drop everything in an emergency and travel there. 

Earning money and feeling like I deserve to earn a higher income is an issue for another day. 

Today I'm thinking of the wonderful lady that was my gran. The lessons in life that she taught me and my family back home who are dealing with all the practicalities of the day xxx